11 Ways to Know You are NOT Over Your X

Often times as people we tend to end relationships without fully closing the door. We leave just enough room for a small dash of hope to potentially fill the void and bring things back to what they were. Here are a few quick ways to analyze your behaviors and determine whether you are still stuck on your X.

  1. You stalk your  on social media.
  2. You and your  X continue to have sexual relations.
  3. You try to “sleep” [around] your pain away from splitting with your X.
  4. You can’t stop brining up your X in a conversation.
  5. You are still upset about losing your X—regardless of who dumped who.
  6. You are afraid of someone new fulfilling the void from the X.
  7. Instead of moving on and giving other people a chance you want to just quit trying.
  8. You allow negativity from the past relationship to spill over onto a new person and/or relationship.
  9. You can’t stand the thought of your X having any form of relations with another person.
  10. You continue to attempt to be social with people very close to your X.
  11. If You can not honestly say you want the best for them… guest what? You are NOT over your X!

 

 

By Ryan Chandler | @NayrRychi

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Ryan Chandler is a 23 year old south side Chicago Native and emerging hip-hop journalist. He is an avid hip-hop enthusiast who is not only immersed in the music but the dynamics of the culture, as a whole. Ryan aims to use his passion for hip-hop and people to further elevate the community. He has written for notable Chicago blogs such as FakeShoreDrive and is a welcomed contributor to the Street Intell brand.

 

 

Who Shot Chivalry???

 

 The disappearance of chivalry falls on the shoulders of both young men and women.

First up is us fellas. It seems that a void has been created leaving us out of touch with how to be romantic, respectful and a gentleman. We as men have forgotten how to court a young lady. Even the simplest acts of chivalry have become irrelevant; such as opening doors, being on time and handling the bill— on at least the first couple of occasions.

So now that we know the problem, how do we fix it?

For starters we must not feel uncomfortable doing something “different” from our circle of social normalcy. Meaning we shouldn’t be concerned if people chastise us for doing things they are not doing; like opening doors. Second, we can’t let things that stimulate us have an impact on our personal decisions. Just because a certain musician, role model, etc., does or says ‘this’ and ‘that’ does not mean that is who we are. There is nothing wrong with showing a woman you have morals and respect for not only yourself but her as well. It is time for us to step up as men especially men with kids; children must see and know the correct ways that men and women interact. For those who may not have children, make a change for the women in your lives such as your mothers, sisters and grandmothers. It’s time for us as young men to grow and evolve.

The partner in crime in the attempted murder of chivalry is … Women.

Ladies, you must remember that a male will do to you, whatever you allow him to do. This means that if you have your standards and respect bar are set low, then that is what you will receive. Women are our Queens and should always be treated as such but most importantly, Women MUST treat themselves as Queens. The reason why men have become so ignorant to chivalry is because women allowed it.  Now here is when the true challenge for both men and women arises. Women you cannot demand chivalry and respect in an “angry” way or  say every single time you are in a car with a male he must open and close every door. It has to be a reasonable approach. You may not get whined and dined every night so be practical and appreciative. Keep in mind that you cannot neglect the fact that as men we deserve appreciation as well. A humble ‘thank you’ does more than an arrogant demand.

On the other hand, Men we have to be aware of balance when it comes to chivalry. Keep in mind there is nothing wrong with the core of what we are doing, we need to be able to open doors and cover bills along with the other things we do. But we shouldn’t get comfortable. There is nothing wrong with just “hanging at the house”; it’s a problem when that is all you know. It all comes down to being diverse and balanced. Maintain your core but never be afraid to add different dimensions.

Now that we’ve put the broken pieces of the puzzle back together, it is evident that we are all guilty subjects pegged at the scene of the crime.  However, at the end of the day let’s not play the blame game. Instead let’s continue to try with each other and most importantly keep chivalry alive!

 

By Ryan Chandler | @NayrRychi

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Ryan Chandler is a 23 year old south side Chicago Native and emerging hip-hop journalist. He is an avid hip-hop enthusiast who is not only immersed in the music but the dynamics of the culture, as a whole. Ryan aims to use his passion for hip-hop and people to further elevate the community. He has written for notable Chicago blogs such as FakeShoreDrive and is a welcomed contributor to the Street Intell brand.

 

 

Women’s History Month Spotlight: Yulia Brodskaya

                                                                    Simple Complexity.
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Paper always held a special fascination for me. I’ve tried many different methods and techniques of working with it, until I found the way that has turned out to be ‘the one’ for me: now I draw with paper instead of on it.

There isn’t anything complex about paper and glue yet illustrator, Yulia Brodskaya, has used her creative genius to construct intricate and vibrant 3-dimensional pieces using paper and glue, these same elements have quickly garnered her international recognition. Having over 100 pieces in her collection she has worked for big names like: Oprah, Starbucks, Godiva, Bentley, Niemen Marcus, Hennessy, Target and several others (To name familiar US companies). Born in 1983, making her just over 30, she began working as a graphic designer and illustrator in 2006 and quickly left graphic design for her real passion. She accrued over 100 clients within 5 years. If there were any woman illustrators worth highlighting it would be Yulia. Her attention to detail, the meticulous nature of the pieces, her vibrancy of color and emotion all come across clearly in her work. Each piece quite visually pleasing, her work became a muse of inspiration:

I see the culmination of emotion from a lifetime in your face like a tree that has stood the test of time. With lines that circle the trunk round and round so too do the lines on your face tell a story…they tell a truth: Our perception of reality happens in dots and lines and with care and attention we can craft a beautiful reality that celebrates our experience in all of its colors. So be like Yulia, bravely stretching the bounds and lines of art, the bounds and lines of life.

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Dannielle Cayard is a poet, vocalist and free spirit who uses her creativity to guide her audience deep into the corridors of her beautiful mind.

She is also a Mousai House member and Written Expressions contributor.

 

 

 

Women’s History Month Spotlight: Film Director Sanaa Hamri

Sanaa Hamri, the daughter of a Moroccan painter and author(Mohammed Hamri), had a goal to one day become a successful actress.  She worked throughout her secondary school years to make her goal a reality, and upon applying for college, received a scholarship to study theatre at Sarah Lawrence College in Bronxville, NY.  After she completed her last year or so studying acting in Paris, she moved to Manhattan and began to pursue her dream in one of NY’s biggest cultural and economic centres.  After struggling with the harsh realities of auditions and unemployment, the actress decided to try her luck with directing instead.

She taught herself editing using an Avid machine and a manual, and discovered she had a talent for putting stories together using imagery.  Her first major breakthrough came when one of her associates – Malik Hassaan Sayeed – impressed by her talents, showed one of her early works  to Mariah Carey, who eventually hired Hamri to direct one of her videos.  She has since gone on to direct many more music videos, for not only Mariah Carey, but Jadakiss, Kelly Rowland, Prince, Jay-Z, Eric Benet, Nicki Minaj, and more; in time becoming one of the most highly recognized female music video directors in the industry.

After her career with music videos had gained her enough notoriety as a director, Sanaa branched into directing feature-length films such as “The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants 2” in 2008 and Queen Latifah & Common’s “Just Wright” in 2010.  In an interview with a Sarah Lawrence College publication Hamri says, in the future she wants to continue in her career making more films…  specifically about ‘daily life in the world of her birthplace Morocco, and about human beings who are in conflict and struggling to understand themselves’.  With a catalogue containing such emotionally compelling and reflective works, such as the visuals to Kelly Rowland’s “Stole”, Jay-Z’s “Song Cry”, Nicki Minaj’s “Fly”, and Lupe Fiasco’s “Words I Never Said”, the artist will continue to be a thriving inspiration and example to up-and-coming video directors to “think before you act”.  Ladies and Gentlemen, I Present to You… Sanaa Hamri.

 

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Malik Carter is a freelance photojournalist and budding MC who performs under the stage name, Primary Element.

He is also a Mousai House member and Written Expressions contributor.

 

 

 

Dorothy Dandridge : A Star on the Rise

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Dorothy Dandridge was a woman of magnificent beauty and extraordinary talent, who dreamed of one day reaching the upper echelon of Hollywood as an dramatic actress. In 1954, that dream came true when she was cast as the lead in Otto Preminger’s Carmen Jones, the first all-black musical filmed in Technicolor. Not only was the movie a success, but Dorothy received acclaim for her portrayal of Carmen Jones, becoming Hollywood’s first African American dramatic female movie star. She was also the first African American woman to grace the cover of Life magazine.
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On February 12, 1954 Dorothy received an Oscar nomination for Best Actress, making her the first African American actress to receive such an honor. On March 30, 1955 Dorothy attended the 27th Annual Academy Awards with her sister Vivian. The night was a historic one for many reasons. Dorothy was not only the first African American woman nominated for Best Actress, but also the first African American actress to present an award.

Though she did not win the Oscar, Dorothy captivated the hearts of the country, and symbolized the hopes and dreams of African Americans everywhere. With the tremendous success of Carmen Jones, one would assume Dorothy Dandridge would remain one the top actresses in Hollywood. Unfortunately, Hollywood was too focused on her skin color instead of her talent. Three years pasted before Dorothy starred in another film. In 1957, she appeared apart of an ensemble cast in the movie Island in the Sun. She starred in other movies including The Decks Ran Red (1958), Tamango (1958), Porgy and Bess (1959) and Malaga (1960), but none received the acclaim and garnered the popularity of Carmen Jones.
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As Diahann Carroll said, “Dorothy Dandridge should be the most successful movie star in the world, but she was a black woman at the wrong time.” She captivated the world with her beauty, and amazed audiences everywhere with her undeniable talent . Most importantly she inspired and blazed the trail for generations of actors and entertainers. Though her influence doesn’t end there. It’s broad enough to reach just about any and everyone including me. Dorothy dared to dream big, and accomplished what seemed virtually impossible during the 1950s. Her dreams our now our realities, and I am forever grateful.

 

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M. Williams is a guest contributor and curator behind the @DandridgeLove Blog.

Williams has always had a great love and admiration for Dorothy. When she realized that so many in this generation didn’t know who she was, or the rich legacy she left behind. She started an Instagram, Twitter and Tumblr in hopes of increasing awareness about her life and legacy. Williams’s goal has always been to uplift the legacy of Dorothy Dandridge, by acknowledging her triumphs as well as her trials. Dorothy has opened the door for so many women especially of color. Williams believes it is our duty to celebrate her because not only did Dandridge break down countless barriers but she has inspired others to do the same. M. Williams hopes in time Dorothy’s legacy will not only be more widely known, but truly appreciated.