The disappearance of chivalry falls on the shoulders of both young men and women.
First up is us fellas. It seems that a void has been created leaving us out of touch with how to be romantic, respectful and a gentleman. We as men have forgotten how to court a young lady. Even the simplest acts of chivalry have become irrelevant; such as opening doors, being on time and handling the bill— on at least the first couple of occasions.
So now that we know the problem, how do we fix it?
For starters we must not feel uncomfortable doing something “different” from our circle of social normalcy. Meaning we shouldn’t be concerned if people chastise us for doing things they are not doing; like opening doors. Second, we can’t let things that stimulate us have an impact on our personal decisions. Just because a certain musician, role model, etc., does or says ‘this’ and ‘that’ does not mean that is who we are. There is nothing wrong with showing a woman you have morals and respect for not only yourself but her as well. It is time for us to step up as men especially men with kids; children must see and know the correct ways that men and women interact. For those who may not have children, make a change for the women in your lives such as your mothers, sisters and grandmothers. It’s time for us as young men to grow and evolve.
The partner in crime in the attempted murder of chivalry is … Women.
Ladies, you must remember that a male will do to you, whatever you allow him to do. This means that if you have your standards and respect bar are set low, then that is what you will receive. Women are our Queens and should always be treated as such but most importantly, Women MUST treat themselves as Queens. The reason why men have become so ignorant to chivalry is because women allowed it. Now here is when the true challenge for both men and women arises. Women you cannot demand chivalry and respect in an “angry” way or say every single time you are in a car with a male he must open and close every door. It has to be a reasonable approach. You may not get whined and dined every night so be practical and appreciative. Keep in mind that you cannot neglect the fact that as men we deserve appreciation as well. A humble ‘thank you’ does more than an arrogant demand.
On the other hand, Men we have to be aware of balance when it comes to chivalry. Keep in mind there is nothing wrong with the core of what we are doing, we need to be able to open doors and cover bills along with the other things we do. But we shouldn’t get comfortable. There is nothing wrong with just “hanging at the house”; it’s a problem when that is all you know. It all comes down to being diverse and balanced. Maintain your core but never be afraid to add different dimensions.
Now that we’ve put the broken pieces of the puzzle back together, it is evident that we are all guilty subjects pegged at the scene of the crime. However, at the end of the day let’s not play the blame game. Instead let’s continue to try with each other and most importantly keep chivalry alive!
–By Ryan Chandler | @NayrRychi
Ryan Chandler is a 23 year old south side Chicago Native and emerging hip-hop journalist. He is an avid hip-hop enthusiast who is not only immersed in the music but the dynamics of the culture, as a whole. Ryan aims to use his passion for hip-hop and people to further elevate the community. He has written for notable Chicago blogs such as FakeShoreDrive and is a welcomed contributor to the Street Intell brand.