Ryan Chandler is a 23 year old south side Chicago Native and emerging hip-hop journalist. He is an avid hip-hop enthusiast who is not only immersed in the music but the dynamics of the culture, as a whole. Ryan aims to use his passion for hip-hop and people to further elevate the community. He has written for notable Chicago blogs such as FakeShoreDrive and is a welcomed contributor to the Street Intell brand.
Everyone thinks they know everything there is about relationships and they journey from one experience to the next often times neglecting the writing on the wall. Here are 10 Truths that I’ve found to undeniably stay the same:
Every man was once a nice guy… but nice guys finish last.
Men and women can become intimidated by someone who has exactly what they want.
People make time for what or who they want to make time for.
We have all used somebody at some point.
“Friends with Benefits” has an expiration date.
Time “together” should not be measured by length, but by the events within the journey.
People want honesty but often times can not handle it.
A generation of dating is becoming NUMB.
Some Men look for a mother and a H@* in the same Woman.
Problems from past relationships can carry over to create problems within the new relationship.
Ryan Chandler is a 23 year old south side Chicago Native and emerging hip-hop journalist. He is an avid hip-hop enthusiast who is not only immersed in the music but the dynamics of the culture, as a whole. Ryan aims to use his passion for hip-hop and people to further elevate the community. He has written for notable Chicago blogs such as FakeShoreDrive and is a welcomed contributor to the Street Intell brand.
The disappearance of chivalry falls on the shoulders of both young men and women.
First up is us fellas. It seems that a void has been created leaving us out of touch with how to be romantic, respectful and a gentleman. We as men have forgotten how to court a young lady. Even the simplest acts of chivalry have become irrelevant; such as opening doors, being on time and handling the bill— on at least the first couple of occasions.
So now that we know the problem, how do we fix it?
For starters we must not feel uncomfortable doing something “different” from our circle of social normalcy. Meaning we shouldn’t be concerned if people chastise us for doing things they are not doing; like opening doors. Second, we can’t let things that stimulate us have an impact on our personal decisions. Just because a certain musician, role model, etc., does or says ‘this’ and ‘that’ does not mean that is who we are. There is nothing wrong with showing a woman you have morals and respect for not only yourself but her as well. It is time for us to step up as men especially men with kids; children must see and know the correct ways that men and women interact. For those who may not have children, make a change for the women in your lives such as your mothers, sisters and grandmothers. It’s time for us as young men to grow and evolve.
The partner in crime in the attempted murder of chivalry is … Women.
Ladies, you must remember that a male will do to you, whatever you allow him to do. This means that if you have your standards and respect bar are set low, then that is what you will receive. Women are our Queens and should always be treated as such but most importantly, Women MUST treat themselves as Queens. The reason why men have become so ignorant to chivalry is because women allowed it. Now here is when the true challenge for both men and women arises. Women you cannot demand chivalry and respect in an “angry” way or say every single time you are in a car with a male he must open and close every door. It has to be a reasonable approach. You may not get whined and dined every night so be practical and appreciative. Keep in mind that you cannot neglect the fact that as men we deserve appreciation as well. A humble ‘thank you’ does more than an arrogant demand.
On the other hand, Men we have to be aware of balance when it comes to chivalry. Keep in mind there is nothing wrong with the core of what we are doing, we need to be able to open doors and cover bills along with the other things we do. But we shouldn’t get comfortable. There is nothing wrong with just “hanging at the house”; it’s a problem when that is all you know. It all comes down to being diverse and balanced. Maintain your core but never be afraid to add different dimensions.
Now that we’ve put the broken pieces of the puzzle back together, it is evident that we are all guilty subjects pegged at the scene of the crime. However, at the end of the day let’s not play the blame game. Instead let’s continue to try with each other and most importantly keep chivalry alive!
Ryan Chandler is a 23 year old south side Chicago Native and emerging hip-hop journalist. He is an avid hip-hop enthusiast who is not only immersed in the music but the dynamics of the culture, as a whole. Ryan aims to use his passion for hip-hop and people to further elevate the community. He has written for notable Chicago blogs such as FakeShoreDrive and is a welcomed contributor to the Street Intell brand.
Have you ever experienced an initial pain or illness that seemed to open the door to all types of other issues? Kind of like a gateway situation so to speak, which puts you right where you thought you couldn’t go.
Recently, I experienced that and to say the very least it put me in a really good place but first I had to go through growing pains from my past.
Though this journey was not a planned trip it happened nonetheless, I had extenuating circumstances that required me to travel to Guyana. While in the air leaving Afghanistan the words of a close relative hit me “You cannot continue to run. You have to face everything eventually, stop running and come back.” And though I was more than ready to simple get this trip over, I experienced this familiar yet distant calming of my soul. Something pulled at me, beaconing me to be the man I have grown into, no extra… just Taz.
While on my four day excursion to the beautiful Caribbean and coastal country of Guyana, I pondered a lot. I hopped on one plane to the next from Kandahar, Afghanistan to Qatar, then France, making a quick pit stop in Portugal to have dinner and gather some items from home. Then off again to meet up with family during my layover just to arrive at destination location Georgetown, Guyana. During this trip I not only crossed multiple time zones but I saw the most amazing views from the skies since —I could not sleep which also left me with a lot of time to think.
A good drink is needed when continent hopping & thinking 🙂
When I was younger and as a teenager, there were many decisions made for me which is normal amongst many, if not all. But somewhere along the path to manhood, I came of age mentally before anyone in my family knew it. I chose to practice a different religion and accepted an alternative lifestyle, and even worse I voiced it adamantly. I reacted to the disdain of my family and the judgments of these individuals like they owed me something, like they had to accept me. And for this I was wrong. There was no tact in how I did it; I was a teenager who acted rashly. While I could go on and point the blame at other individuals for my actions or reactions, that is not the purpose of this Jaunt.
This Jaunt is about me.
My self-acceptance that I had to develop, and the respect I feel I owe my family and the world in which I live. As years had gone by and I remained estranged, it was all running back to me while I was in transit. I knew I would now have to practice what I preach to the utmost during this trip. I know there are certain things about my life that folks will never like, but the acceptance I used to seek was no longer needed. I had to remember the same way I wanted to be respected and treated, was what I would have to give first because after all to many I was still the child, although a grown man— I was still the son and nephew.
Trying to figure out why I am still awake…
Upon arrival it was great to see familiar faces. Among them were friends and relatives that I had not seen in eons and we picked up like we hadn’t spent more than two weeks apart. But the best was just being able to be me; I didn’t speak of things not needed and I ignored what I didn’t like. I kept most opinions to myself unless I excused myself first, though I am sure my facial expressions gave me away. I received quite a few “I dare you looks” which could only mean I gave a look first. 🙂
This slideshow requires JavaScript.
This journey was a bitter sweet one, but I do not for one second regret it. I enjoyed every bit of it and I even said to my Auntie, “It’s funny we (my siblings and cousins) all grew up and now we are doing the things we used to see you all do, this is life, our life.” To which my Auntie said “You are very insightful, that it is boi, that it is…” as she looked over her sunglasses and placed her hand over mine. See the solid foundation I have is the family unit in which I was brought up on and in is what allows me to just chuck the deuces and disappear when I want; so that I may travel, explore, and live freely.
Well deserved drink on the flight
One more set of flights to go, and then I am back home
There are many days as the years progress where we ponder over complicated situations, or maybe question the person we have become. I don’t normally like to think that another person can dictate who we become, but this trip has changed my mind. For better or worse the elders and adults of our youth mold us into the people we have become. If one is lucky you are surrounded by those who teach you the world is yours. Mine taught me that, if I didn’t like it there was always the door, a door to use to escape or explore more possibilities. But little did I know that this door would allow me to return. And for that I am grateful.
As I replay images over and over again in my head about this trip, most of them reaffirm what I thought —or more accurately what I have come to believe about myself. I am nomadic, nothing truly defines me; no name, no lineage, no country can truly engage much less envelop me. But what does engage me is my sense of humanity, a sense of respect that I have to afford everyone even if I do not agree or like their opinions. And if I do not respect them enough to be peaceful at least respect myself enough to not bring reproach upon myself due to misguided behavior.
Jovial Jaunts is a personal blogger series hosted by Tazeem Rumal. Taz will document his travels, share his experiences living abroad, offer his opinions on topics and venture out to ask thought provoking questions.
Tuesday, April 8th — President Barack Obama, continued his push on lessening the gender wage gap in the workplace by signing an executive order mandating contractors to publish wage data (by gender and race) in order to maintain compliance with equal pay laws. The order is a push for better wages of contracted workers allowing them extra protection; even when comparing wages, which under the order protects them from being penalized for such actions.
Today is also National Equal Pay Day and President Obama’s action serves as a reminder of the Equal Pay Act of 1963 which established the administration and enforcement of the law prohibiting gender based wage discrimination between men and women who perform jobs that require the same skill sets, responsibilities and are under the same working conditions.
I have decided to take you all on a little trip down memory lane and discuss a typical night of weekend clubbing in Lisboa, Portugal and the surrounding cities. The night life there is amazing; everyone should experience it and come this time next month I will be packing up and headed back.
Photo Credit: reikal.com
Typically, I start my evening around 8pm in Cascais at one of my favorite places Restaurante Paradigma, they have a nice wine selection and an even better assortment of cocktails. This venue is what my close group of friends (The Plastics) considers “our spot” because every Tuesday and Wednesday you can find us here after work cutting up. With a modern appeal, warm an easy lighting, accompanied with great music the ambiance is just right. Though the selection of music is not always a playlist of well-known or popular artists there is a good mix of indie, acoustic, and European house music; all played at a reasonable decibel that is pleasing to the ear. Resturante Paradigma is a great place to relax and have easy conversations. There is no wonder why I prepare for what can be anywhere from a 9 to 13 hour night, all right there.
Next up is the place you really want to start your drinking festivities: Bairro Alto. This district of the city is as rich in history as it is with the money of tourists looking to enjoy a good night of drinking, haha. With a diverse and vibrant assortment of clubs, bars, restaurants, and coffee houses you are sure to find something good to drink, eat or listen to. As soon as we arrive in Bairro Alto, I prefer to hit up my favorite bar Majong because they make the best Gin & Tonic (I can’t tell you why, just ask for a Hendrick’s & Tonic) and you won’t be disappointed. Not only is this a popular destination for new and returning visitors to Portugal but it is also a favorite among the locals and a great place to network and meet new associates. Here you can sit and watch the silent cartoons that play on the wall and drift away as you tune out the many conversations that vary from Portuguese; to French, Deutsch, English, and even Flemish (which I love to hear). After a few drinks, it’s on to more bars where you can have your choice of any drink however I prefer to scout out the first bar with good Sangria (which on the Iberian Peninsula can be difficult since everyone claims to have the best). After two or three hours of enjoying everything from samba to main stream pop hits at different venues, it’s time for a change of scenery [This is where it gets good].
By any account you can call me a Club Hopper because this is exactly how I measure my night, I hop from one club to the next. For some reason or another I seem to attract a group of people who are more than happy to invite me along for a good time. Now don’t get it twisted, I tend to have a group with me already but somehow my care free “I just want to dance” persona gets the best of me and I tend to end up partying with total strangers.
Like a true club nomad I carry myself to the first place I can think of right off the Marginal because at 2am the bars are just closing and it’s time to get it in. Main and/or Music Box are normally my first choices to kick off my night of dancing. Both play an eclectic assortment of music and are culturally diverse enough to where I can let loose. I normally cannot go in these spots sober because the amount of life surging through the place requires you to already be on that level, if you catch my drift. Heavy with Techno and House Music these places are where I imagine my European Experience to truly have started. I envision when I am close to death the flashing lights and crazy memories of these places will play in my head like a movie reel with “One day we’ll be old” or “We are Young” as the soundtrack playing in the background.
After an hour or so I am off to find my final destination just on the other side of the bridge in Amora. If I have had too much to drink I stay on the Lisboa side of the bridge and go to Docks which is hands down (if I plan my night right) the best spot for me. Nevertheless, across the bridge is a whole street dedicated to discotecas. My top pick is Discoteca Ondeando which is solely an Africana Discoteca… I get every bit of my multicultural life in there. The enjoyment I get from the experience always feels like a new thrill, this is probably because at this point my learning curve is limited to grooving to a new song or learning a new dance. Don’t get me wrong, I enjoy learning new words but my elementary Portuguese makes dancing the only form of communication that matters and this is a language I know all too well!
On the nights that I prefer to frequent the clubs in Lisboa there is an array of Angolan music and I enjoy every bit of it, the beats and rhythm are similar to music heard in the West Indies. On Friday or Saturday I go to Docks and on Sundays I hit up BBC (but this is if I am up to it, because a brother has to work on Monday). At Docks rich vibes blare from the speakers with the sounds of Kudoro, Sembas, and Kizomba music along with a few Hip-Hop tunes remixed to fit the style of the local clientele. I normally sweat like a hooker in church as I dance, but I get the best photos and after working up an appetite and releasing every bit of stress from the weeks prior; I like to take in one last look of the amazing view that Docks has to offer. As I the “Americano” affectionately says “Ciao Ciao” giving the typical double kiss on the cheeks to the ladies and a solid hand shake/half hug to the fellas, I kiki one last time as we part ways and look to find jackets, bags, or our friends we came with. The feeling of soberness settles in as the sunrises in the back drop over the mouth of the Tagus River and the Cristo Rei over looks us. At this point I am tired and it is time to head to a café for a quick pastry and coffee before I go home to crash and burn. Around 8 or 9AM the next day, I pour my favorite local red wine or vinho tinto and settle in.
A night full of culture and music is by my standard a good one. Almost all of my Portuguese friends I have met randomly, through some concert or a night of clubbing. Every time I leave the house for a night of clubbing I say to myself “Try something new, do something different” and this is why everyone says “If you go with Taz just be ready to come back in the afternoon” it has and does happen. I play hard and work even harder. Look out for a few more exciting posts in April when I am back in full party mode.
Here is a link to some music, if you want to experience some of the more common sounds heard in the Portuguese clubs, I frequent. There are multiple mixes so go through and see if you like it, I promise it’s so worth it. Drop a comment below and tell me your thoughts.
Jovial Jaunts is a personal blogger series hosted by Tazeem Rumal. Taz will document his travels, share his experiences living abroad, offer his opinions on topics and venture out to ask thought provoking questions.
Well known and highly respected Radio/Media Personality, Sheila Stewart died in an Atlanta car crash on Thursday. We are deeply touched by this news. Not only was Sheila one of the leading radio and media personalities in the DC metro area, she was a key facilitator in the growth of Street Intell as a recognized media brand. She held open that door and allowed us to walk through.
Growing up as a DMV native, it has been customary to hear Sheila’s beautiful voice on the Tom Joyner radio show updating us on community news. She was a decorated and award winning media personality, author, mentor and the Director of News and Community Affairs at the Radio One studio.
She leaves behind a long remarkable legacy of dedication and service; spanning over 20 years. Shelia was a persistent figure in the community. She organized countless charitable benefits and always uplifted and promoted the idea of service and giving back. As a member of Alpha Kappa Alpha sorority we see how that commitment to “serving all mankind” shined through everything she was involved in. Shelia was a beautiful spirit filled with bountiful joy and inspiration. We honor her spirit and legacy by acknowledging all of her accomplishments and all that she has done for the DC metro community and beyond. Rest in paradise to the “Queen of the Community”, Shelia Stewart.
Street Intell 